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Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Dreaming with God
And yet another late night post. Funny, though, that as I am awake when I'm supposed to be asleep, I am thinking about dreaming. There are a lot of people in this world that shove their God-given dreams as far away as they can to try to live according to somebody else's dreams or standards. But those people really only "survive" because they are operating from the fear of what others think rather than what God thinks. It ends up being a lose-lose situation because the God-given dreams end up dying in a corner rather than beaming forth from the person who embodies them and blessing the world with their unique color and purpose.
The world needs dreamers who dare to dream. The world you to dare to be you.
I have my desires, my hopes, my dreams. I once was an ocean full of sunken dreams that set sail too long ago to remember, and needed a raising from the depths and a fresh wind in their sails and some direction.
God has been waking my heart to His dreams, as He is putting His heart to my dreams. And it's time to set sail. There's no turning back, the course is set. And whatever He has planned for me is what I want. Wherever He goes, I will follow. The dreams in my heart are founded inside my desire for Him. And knowing God's heart is all I need in this life, I don't need anything else. God's heart... His crazy love... is my dream, my desire, my passion, my reason, my life, my all. No matter where I go or what condition I am in, if I am alone or surrounded, rich or poor, hungry or full, cold or comfortable, God's heart and His love is all that matters to me. There's nothing else I hold onto.
The world needs dreamers who dare to dream. The world you to dare to be you.
I have my desires, my hopes, my dreams. I once was an ocean full of sunken dreams that set sail too long ago to remember, and needed a raising from the depths and a fresh wind in their sails and some direction.
God has been waking my heart to His dreams, as He is putting His heart to my dreams. And it's time to set sail. There's no turning back, the course is set. And whatever He has planned for me is what I want. Wherever He goes, I will follow. The dreams in my heart are founded inside my desire for Him. And knowing God's heart is all I need in this life, I don't need anything else. God's heart... His crazy love... is my dream, my desire, my passion, my reason, my life, my all. No matter where I go or what condition I am in, if I am alone or surrounded, rich or poor, hungry or full, cold or comfortable, God's heart and His love is all that matters to me. There's nothing else I hold onto.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Looking Both Ways
It's early Sunday morning, just a bit after 2:00am June 19th, and I feel as if this is the perfect time to be awake. I go outside, smell the Oregon rain-washed air, hear the water in the fountain falling softly, and then I listen to the sound of pure silence playing perfectly and somewhere behind all the other little noises. This is what midnight sounds like. The sun is on the other side of the world, and I quite like how suddenly this front-porch, which with the sun is a public thing, has become my temporary hiding place. I feel like this time of day is when I can think, when I can feel, and when I can breathe. Every now and again, a car will slowly drive by and remind me that I am not the only one awake at this hour. But I feel as though I am.
A year ago today, June 19, my time in Tegucigalpita, Heart to Heart Children's Village, Honduras was coming to a happy yet strangely unfinished ending. I opened to this chapter of life in my old journal and smiled as I breathed in the scent of the pages smothered with ink, food stains, and memories, and tried to read my scribbled-in-the-dark words which brought to life the vivid descriptions of the beautiful children and their full eyes, dancing and laughing and inviting me into their family, and teaching me about the simplicity of love. I packed these pages with ten days of Honduras bliss, and then I went home and had a lot of questions, a lot of thoughts, and a lot more pages to write.
So I put that journal away and took out the next one. When that one was done, I took out the next. I have written through seven journals since then. Huge journals with huge pages, I am talking. Thousands of pages and hundreds of thousands of words...sit on the highest shelf of my closet and remember the things I told them to.
Maybe some of those secrets have grown old. But I dare believe most of them would still crack a smile, refrain a laugh, or shed a tear.
....Some memories I will hold in my heart forever, and some I will not, simply because I can't. Life can't be based on what I remember. I cannot live from my past, no matter how wonderful or terrible it might have been. To me, my journals are beautiful books: they are stories of everything that has happened between the depths of my heart and the depths of God's.
My words are my footprints through life, and footprints always leave a mark.... But there is a time when one must decide...which way to go now?
I have looked both ways: back by flipping through the stained pages of my journals, and forward... straight into the bright eyes of Jesus...full of more stories than my pen and hand could ever acquire.
I have looked both ways, and chosen forwards. How ready and how excited I am to pioneer onwards. I move into a story that is more real than what I've written with my pen, a future more tangible than my pages, and a destiny that hasn't merely been scribbled as riddles and poems, hidden between yellow pages for nobody to ever see, but a destiny that grows clearer, stronger, and brighter with each passing day for me and the world to discover.
I move in closer than before, I press in deeper than before, and I hunger harder than before; for I am after Jesus, and Jesus alone.
 |
| Dawn outside my room at the Heart to Heart Children's Village. |
So I put that journal away and took out the next one. When that one was done, I took out the next. I have written through seven journals since then. Huge journals with huge pages, I am talking. Thousands of pages and hundreds of thousands of words...sit on the highest shelf of my closet and remember the things I told them to.
Maybe some of those secrets have grown old. But I dare believe most of them would still crack a smile, refrain a laugh, or shed a tear.
....Some memories I will hold in my heart forever, and some I will not, simply because I can't. Life can't be based on what I remember. I cannot live from my past, no matter how wonderful or terrible it might have been. To me, my journals are beautiful books: they are stories of everything that has happened between the depths of my heart and the depths of God's.
My words are my footprints through life, and footprints always leave a mark.... But there is a time when one must decide...which way to go now?
I have looked both ways: back by flipping through the stained pages of my journals, and forward... straight into the bright eyes of Jesus...full of more stories than my pen and hand could ever acquire.
I have looked both ways, and chosen forwards. How ready and how excited I am to pioneer onwards. I move into a story that is more real than what I've written with my pen, a future more tangible than my pages, and a destiny that hasn't merely been scribbled as riddles and poems, hidden between yellow pages for nobody to ever see, but a destiny that grows clearer, stronger, and brighter with each passing day for me and the world to discover.I move in closer than before, I press in deeper than before, and I hunger harder than before; for I am after Jesus, and Jesus alone.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Writing My Own Story
My life is just one of many, but every life lived is worth telling. My life is significant because I am significant to God. As I write my story......as I live my life, I am encouraged by the fact that my story doesn't have to sound or be like someone else's. It's part of discovering who I am, and it's part of drawing closer to God and letting His love tell me who I am, and then letting that story and that grace flow freely from me.
I want to be filled with stories. And not just stories of pen and paper and some imagination, but stories of earth and Heaven colliding, the reality of love flooding in from every side, and Jesus using my hands, feet, eyes, ears and mouth to express how He feels inside. I want to be filled with these stories. I'm ready to know the unexplainable, remember the inexperienced, and live the impossible.
Monday, June 6, 2011
My Resolve
So far I haven't come up with anything "profound" and "not-cliche" to say on what graduating feels like.
This morning I woke up and realized why: what this part of my life means to me isn't really about "getting out of high school," "celebrating all I accomplished," or even "moving onto something 'bigger' and 'better,'" nor is it about finally facing "the REAL world."
This event actually sooo comes down to being all about One thing, One person, and One love. . . .
I am out of high school now, and I have this serious revelation... this huge resolve... that I have the rest of my life to live. And in this life, there is only one thing that matters to me -- only this one thing. That One thing, One person, is Jesus.
No matter how overly-poetic this might sound, I am truthfully saying that after all my searching for thought and emotion, I cannot do anything right now but say how much I love God! .....
I am outrageously, unfathomably lost inside inside His love, and in turn, I can't help but just LOVE Him with all of my heart, with every fiber in my being. He is everything I live for and will live for until the day I die. Words cannot express this love, this passion burning inside of me; this passion to know Him more, this passion to just be with Him, this passion to love other people with His love, this passion to sit face to face with Him, this passion to live above what the natural says is possible and instead live only by what God says is possible and see Heaven here on earth! ...This passion to feel His every beautiful heartbeat, so that myself and, in turn, everyone I touch will be transformed into a testimony of the most wonderful, beautiful love in the entire universe: the one and only Love of God!
Right now, I am indeed a high school graduate. But even more so, I am a living, walking, talking, breathing testimony of the love of God.
No matter what happens in my future, my comfort, hope, and peace is found in this amazing truth: I have given God my heart. He has my whole life. He has my everything, He is my everything, because everything He is.... I have realized.... is more valuable than anything else I have found out there. He is literally "out of this world." He is worth it. He is worth my life. He is worth my everything.
So here's to being alive
Here's to being lost inside of love, and in turn...
Here's to being found by love
Here's to the power of love
Here's to the One who is Love
Who is Jesus - You have my whole heart, my whole love, my whole life!
Saturday, May 21, 2011
"I was watching You!"
I'm usually not a "quick post" blogger. Usually when I start blogging, it's a 99.99% guarantee it's going to be extremely long and potentially have ten different endings. (Can any other blogger here relate?!)
This one is going to be different, and be quick...short...(I hope, anyways.)
I was thinking about how I want to experience greater levels EVERY DAY of what God has for me. And though I've heard this before, and bla bla bla, it really hit ME today. (By "hitting" me, I mean... it became something real inside of me & not just going in one ear and out the other. It's something I am experiencing!) That is: the importance of being thankful.
When I start thanking God for what that happened today, no matter what it was, it opens up room for more. I realized that thankfulness isn't the key to getting God to do something that He hasn't already done, it's simply recognizing how amazing God is and then in turn receiving a greater amount of hunger to see Heaven on earth, to see Jesus get the fullness of what He paid for on the cross.
Basically, it's not through our discouragement by what we didn't do, but through thankfulness and happiness about what God DID do, that we become completely happy people who experience constant increase in love, joy, and peace and see an increase of the Kingdom in our lives. :-)
So I've decided I can't let God get away with doing something good! I have to say, "I saw you there, God, I was watching you!" And thank Him for who He is and what He's done.
This one is going to be different, and be quick...short...(I hope, anyways.)
I was thinking about how I want to experience greater levels EVERY DAY of what God has for me. And though I've heard this before, and bla bla bla, it really hit ME today. (By "hitting" me, I mean... it became something real inside of me & not just going in one ear and out the other. It's something I am experiencing!) That is: the importance of being thankful.
When I start thanking God for what that happened today, no matter what it was, it opens up room for more. I realized that thankfulness isn't the key to getting God to do something that He hasn't already done, it's simply recognizing how amazing God is and then in turn receiving a greater amount of hunger to see Heaven on earth, to see Jesus get the fullness of what He paid for on the cross.
Basically, it's not through our discouragement by what we didn't do, but through thankfulness and happiness about what God DID do, that we become completely happy people who experience constant increase in love, joy, and peace and see an increase of the Kingdom in our lives. :-)
So I've decided I can't let God get away with doing something good! I have to say, "I saw you there, God, I was watching you!" And thank Him for who He is and what He's done.
Colossians 2:8 ...and let your living spill over into thanksgiving.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Because He Loves Me
Time to write. So many beautiful earth-shattering and Heaven-invading events have happened lately. And as I write that very phrase, I realize "Isn't that a normal thing, now?" To see Heaven invade earth is what the one thing I am living and breathing for. My heart has been gripped by the One whose eyes know me and are full of the purest, truest, most beautiful love that I have ever known.I am changed. I can feel it in my heart, a sense it in my thoughts, I hear it in my words. Change.
I am letting the Fire out of the fireplace. I am letting go and letting God. I am beginning to understand what it means to utterly surrender, and in that, be taken violently captive by the Love of Jesus. And in that captivity, to have no other desire and delight than to love Him in return by letting my heartstrings be tuned to His heartstrings, and to have my heartbeat in rhythm with His.
From my journal today: "I am learning just how easy it is to love people when God's love lives inside of me. It's not about "getting' someone to understand something about God and do something about it, and it's not about talking someone into saying a prayer that they didn't mean. It's about having a real conversation, being real, being you, and letting Holy Spirit be Himself. I have always wanted the boldness -- to feel the burn from the aching and longing in my heart -- to see miracles and to pray for people and introduce them to Jesus. In the past, I have had the boldness to pray for people but have always been discouraged about myself during or after my attempt to offer an encounter to someone with Jesus..."
The reason why I was discouraged was because I was believing a lie. To preface this "lie," I would first like to say, lies always rob you of something. This lie was robbing me of walking in the supernatural, and the supernatural boldness to love people as Jesus did.
The lie was this: Lauren, you're not doing or saying that good enough. You just can't do anything right. You're always just doing so-so, and even when you think you give your all, you're only giving half, and still that isn't good enough. God's unsatisfied and expects so much more of you. So you're setting yourself up for failure, displeasure, disappointment, because frankly, you just can't do anything right.
I know that I am not the only one who has lived under the shadow of that kind of lie before. It's called the "You're-not-good-enough lie." Even reading those words.... it's pretty disgusting, isn't it? It's so complicated and gross! The subtle but murderous lie basically tells people that they are always missing the mark and that something is slightly wrong with them - always. What I found that lie caused me to wear was the unfitting blankets of Insignificance and Self-doubt, which is basically lack of confidence in who I am as a unique person.
On Wednesday night, God rocked me and told me, guess what, that's a lie, And guess what, that means it's not reality! Then He showed me reality: I am standing in a wide open field in front of a tree, and Jesus is there next to that tree. I see His eyes, I can see right up close into them, even though we are standing a few feet away. His eyes pierce my soul. It's as if His eyes say 'I know about everything - all the pain, all the hurt, all the struggles.' At the same time, His eyes say, 'Lauren you are my beautiful bride and I am madly in love with who you are...come away with me and be mine!' His eyes also flood with tenderness and mercy. His eyes are full of liquid love, full of compassion, full of answers, full of hope.
There is a coat on my shoulders, and it's brown. That coat is called Insignificance. I stand before Jesus, he says, its time for that coat to be off of you. So in the vision I take off the coat and put it down next to the tree. Then I see something amazing. Jesus looks down at the coat, picks it up, and with one hand, throws it into the sky in the opposite direction - like a boomerang that can't ever come back. Jesus looks back at me and smiles. It was that easy. Then He comes up to me and starts dancing around me and sing this love song. I stand there and Jesus is rejoicing...over me.
There is another coat, he says. This coat is called Self-Doubt. And it's time for that coat to come off too. Again, I take it off, put it by the tree, and Jesus picks it up and flings it into oblivion. Then He rejoices over me. I see myself without those coats on, and I am wearing a pure white dress. I feel light and I feel free. I am free.
I have never felt this free before: Free to live, free to give, free to be, and free to love Jesus and love people. Oh, to be ever aware of His heart beat for his people! And so I will stay there with Jesus, in the wide open field, wearing my white dress, and leaning against the tree with Him who loves me for who I am - not for what I have done. He loves me because He Is Love.
I am letting the Fire out of the fireplace. I am letting go and letting God. I am beginning to understand what it means to utterly surrender, and in that, be taken violently captive by the Love of Jesus. And in that captivity, to have no other desire and delight than to love Him in return by letting my heartstrings be tuned to His heartstrings, and to have my heartbeat in rhythm with His.
From my journal today: "I am learning just how easy it is to love people when God's love lives inside of me. It's not about "getting' someone to understand something about God and do something about it, and it's not about talking someone into saying a prayer that they didn't mean. It's about having a real conversation, being real, being you, and letting Holy Spirit be Himself. I have always wanted the boldness -- to feel the burn from the aching and longing in my heart -- to see miracles and to pray for people and introduce them to Jesus. In the past, I have had the boldness to pray for people but have always been discouraged about myself during or after my attempt to offer an encounter to someone with Jesus..."
The reason why I was discouraged was because I was believing a lie. To preface this "lie," I would first like to say, lies always rob you of something. This lie was robbing me of walking in the supernatural, and the supernatural boldness to love people as Jesus did.
I know that I am not the only one who has lived under the shadow of that kind of lie before. It's called the "You're-not-good-enough lie." Even reading those words.... it's pretty disgusting, isn't it? It's so complicated and gross! The subtle but murderous lie basically tells people that they are always missing the mark and that something is slightly wrong with them - always. What I found that lie caused me to wear was the unfitting blankets of Insignificance and Self-doubt, which is basically lack of confidence in who I am as a unique person.
On Wednesday night, God rocked me and told me, guess what, that's a lie, And guess what, that means it's not reality! Then He showed me reality: I am standing in a wide open field in front of a tree, and Jesus is there next to that tree. I see His eyes, I can see right up close into them, even though we are standing a few feet away. His eyes pierce my soul. It's as if His eyes say 'I know about everything - all the pain, all the hurt, all the struggles.' At the same time, His eyes say, 'Lauren you are my beautiful bride and I am madly in love with who you are...come away with me and be mine!' His eyes also flood with tenderness and mercy. His eyes are full of liquid love, full of compassion, full of answers, full of hope.
There is a coat on my shoulders, and it's brown. That coat is called Insignificance. I stand before Jesus, he says, its time for that coat to be off of you. So in the vision I take off the coat and put it down next to the tree. Then I see something amazing. Jesus looks down at the coat, picks it up, and with one hand, throws it into the sky in the opposite direction - like a boomerang that can't ever come back. Jesus looks back at me and smiles. It was that easy. Then He comes up to me and starts dancing around me and sing this love song. I stand there and Jesus is rejoicing...over me.
There is another coat, he says. This coat is called Self-Doubt. And it's time for that coat to come off too. Again, I take it off, put it by the tree, and Jesus picks it up and flings it into oblivion. Then He rejoices over me. I see myself without those coats on, and I am wearing a pure white dress. I feel light and I feel free. I am free.
So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. - John 8:36
And the rest of the story could be told like this:
Because He loves me I do what I do;
Because He loves me I do what I do;
And I do what I do because He loves me.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Lines in the Sand
So often I try to filter my thoughts and words in this blog, but I am ready for that filter to be off. I don’t know if anyone reads these thoughts or words, but that doesn’t matter. I am realizing more and more that I can’t spend my life trying so hard to be like everybody else - every other blogger, every other writer I know. If I keep trying to write & think like everyone else, well, that would just be pretty sad. :-( Pretty soon I will be old & gray no one, not even I, would have ever known who I am.
First, I have to believe I am someone worth knowing. That value comes from God alone. Spend time with Him, and He lets us know that we're enjoyable, precious, and His prized treasure! :-)
I want to be who I am, and just see what happens. The world doesn’t need another this person or that person, the world needs me to be me. Daddy needs me to be me. He doesn’t want me to be someone else. He likes me just the way I am because he made me just the way I am, and He enjoys me just the way I am and he has a purpose of me just the way I am.
I have found that the more you get to know Daddy, the more you get to know who you really are. It’s like all your talents and gifts and skills that you always felt inside of you will go from shining through a little tiny light bulb to a big huge stadium of lights.
Its time for drawing lines in the sand and decide that....
I am going to live my life being who I am and following in the footsteps of Jesus. I will tread where no one has gone before.
I will live my life free, not bound, in love, not fear, in hope, not disappointment, in joy, not depression, in purpose, not confusion, in peace, not angst, and in promise, not uncertainty, and forgiveness, not bitterness.
I am going to live my life to please God & love Him alone – trusting Him with every decision and every move that I make, and not depend on the world to hold me up, but only His hands to hold me in place…
These are the lines I have drawn in the sand. I have chosen to be who God has also chosen to be.
He chose me to radically change the world with His power & His love.
I want to live my life loving and be loved by God, discovering who He made me to be, and why He loves me so much. Could life be that simple? I say, yes indeed. It's worth a try... and so far, has left me extremely satisfied. :-)
Now its time to see what happens....
A Lifestyle of Love
This blog could be filled with my zillions of thoughts and ideas. I am a thinker and a writer, indeed. One thing has been on my mind, however, that I must share because it sums up all the other thousands of words I have been writing and thinking through. That thought is: the meaning of lifestyle.
We create the atmosphere's we live in. We have a lot of choices to make. Oh, that's not a scary thing or a condemning thing. It's actually a freeing thing when you think about it. We are free because we have choice, and we get to choose to let the Holy Spirit flow out of us. The best thing about choice is that LOVE draws the best choices out of us in the most joyous way. We get to feel satisfied when we choose to love someone we love. It really works out quite nicely. :-)
I am just coming to realize, that we were all made for the ease of the flow of the Holy Spirit, in which all of our choices will be made according to the rhythm of His heartbeat, and all of the fruit we have will come from the seed of His Spirit inside of each one of us.
We are full of seed - we have been equipped to do every good work. His Presence is what makes the seed grow into full maturity. And oh boy, when a seed grows into a tree, that tree is unmovable, and the fruit it bears is dependable and real fruit. A real tree can't bear fake fruit. The fruit off of trees doesn't depend on the farmer. All the farmer does is water and tend to the seed, knowing that the fruit will come.
I want to live a lifestyle full of fruit of the Spirit. I want to see the fruit of Jesus daily in my life. I want to daily experience the fullness of His presence, the fullness of what He paid for on the cross, the fullness of His love. I want this to be a lifestyle. I am tired of every other moment, every other day, every other week. I am tired of letting questions become bigger than my revelations.
I know that God has put inside of me His Spirit, and every day, thank Him that He has already given me the full ability to do every good work & love people with His love. Not because I have to or am pressured to or am trying to meet a quota, but because it is my delight. Because I love Him, and because He loves me.
We create the atmosphere's we live in. We have a lot of choices to make. Oh, that's not a scary thing or a condemning thing. It's actually a freeing thing when you think about it. We are free because we have choice, and we get to choose to let the Holy Spirit flow out of us. The best thing about choice is that LOVE draws the best choices out of us in the most joyous way. We get to feel satisfied when we choose to love someone we love. It really works out quite nicely. :-)
I am just coming to realize, that we were all made for the ease of the flow of the Holy Spirit, in which all of our choices will be made according to the rhythm of His heartbeat, and all of the fruit we have will come from the seed of His Spirit inside of each one of us.
We are full of seed - we have been equipped to do every good work. His Presence is what makes the seed grow into full maturity. And oh boy, when a seed grows into a tree, that tree is unmovable, and the fruit it bears is dependable and real fruit. A real tree can't bear fake fruit. The fruit off of trees doesn't depend on the farmer. All the farmer does is water and tend to the seed, knowing that the fruit will come.
I want to live a lifestyle full of fruit of the Spirit. I want to see the fruit of Jesus daily in my life. I want to daily experience the fullness of His presence, the fullness of what He paid for on the cross, the fullness of His love. I want this to be a lifestyle. I am tired of every other moment, every other day, every other week. I am tired of letting questions become bigger than my revelations.
I know that God has put inside of me His Spirit, and every day, thank Him that He has already given me the full ability to do every good work & love people with His love. Not because I have to or am pressured to or am trying to meet a quota, but because it is my delight. Because I love Him, and because He loves me.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Life at 200mph
I named this post "Life at 200mph" for a reason.... I feel like my life is going FASTER than it EVER has been.... and I am learning... learning... ALOT.
First of all, it's the month of May. That alone has "busy" written all over it.
Secondly, it's the month of May of my senior year. Do you know what that means? That means that everything that usually happens in the month of May is happening for the very last time in my life: high school choir concerts, art festivals, talent shows, graduation parties, classes, tests, waking up at 9:50 to go to school at 10:00! The list goes on and on and on.... and my heart is crying to enjoy and soak up every moment that I can! I don't want to miss this - these moments in my life are so precious and before I know it, they are going to zip by. I don't want to waste my time waiting for something, and miss what's happening right now!
Thirdly, I now have two jobs and need to cram in as many possible hours in per week! I need a certain amount of money by September, and will definitely have extra but want to make sure I have more than enough "extra" to still have some when I come out on the other end in May 2012. I have no doubt God will continue to provide like He always does & promises. But part of His promise comes with me stewarding my blessings, what God actually literally dropped in my lap - two times now: two awesome jobs! God's so rad!
Fourthly... the things I do in my free time, when nobody is watching. This is my alone time with Papa. This is where I receive all the wisdom I need to go throughout the day. This is where He fans the flame in my soul. This is the place that we call the secret place. It's a place that has to be guarded, a place that has to be protected, and a place that has to be free. I have decided that this secret place is the fount where all my love, personality, joy, peace, and energy will overflow. I will not let anything else overflow into the secret place. When that starts happening, things start getting in the way of me and my most precious friendship with my Jesus. It takes only a minute to clear that up - but I long for consistency. Consistency and growth. In this time when I feel like my life is on steroids and I am pulled every which way, that time with Papa is the most important thing that I will not loose. He is my foundation, my hiding place. He gives me grace for every situation. Not just for me to do "okay" but for me to be superhuman through this month and beyond.
Knowing all that He asks of me is for me to be radically, fabulously loved. And no matter how the world shakes around me, the storms of life my pass through, but to be asleep in the arms of Papa - in perfect peace - resting in the Kingdom of Love.
I'm looking forward to seeing how He shines this month! Every day is a miracle! Papa - I am going to rest inside of You! Life going so fast...is actually a synch if you're jacked up the love of God, anyhow!
First of all, it's the month of May. That alone has "busy" written all over it.
Secondly, it's the month of May of my senior year. Do you know what that means? That means that everything that usually happens in the month of May is happening for the very last time in my life: high school choir concerts, art festivals, talent shows, graduation parties, classes, tests, waking up at 9:50 to go to school at 10:00! The list goes on and on and on.... and my heart is crying to enjoy and soak up every moment that I can! I don't want to miss this - these moments in my life are so precious and before I know it, they are going to zip by. I don't want to waste my time waiting for something, and miss what's happening right now!
Thirdly, I now have two jobs and need to cram in as many possible hours in per week! I need a certain amount of money by September, and will definitely have extra but want to make sure I have more than enough "extra" to still have some when I come out on the other end in May 2012. I have no doubt God will continue to provide like He always does & promises. But part of His promise comes with me stewarding my blessings, what God actually literally dropped in my lap - two times now: two awesome jobs! God's so rad!
Fourthly... the things I do in my free time, when nobody is watching. This is my alone time with Papa. This is where I receive all the wisdom I need to go throughout the day. This is where He fans the flame in my soul. This is the place that we call the secret place. It's a place that has to be guarded, a place that has to be protected, and a place that has to be free. I have decided that this secret place is the fount where all my love, personality, joy, peace, and energy will overflow. I will not let anything else overflow into the secret place. When that starts happening, things start getting in the way of me and my most precious friendship with my Jesus. It takes only a minute to clear that up - but I long for consistency. Consistency and growth. In this time when I feel like my life is on steroids and I am pulled every which way, that time with Papa is the most important thing that I will not loose. He is my foundation, my hiding place. He gives me grace for every situation. Not just for me to do "okay" but for me to be superhuman through this month and beyond.
Knowing all that He asks of me is for me to be radically, fabulously loved. And no matter how the world shakes around me, the storms of life my pass through, but to be asleep in the arms of Papa - in perfect peace - resting in the Kingdom of Love.
I'm looking forward to seeing how He shines this month! Every day is a miracle! Papa - I am going to rest inside of You! Life going so fast...is actually a synch if you're jacked up the love of God, anyhow!
"Papa, I don't need to be everything, I just need to be yours. Because, to me, being yours is everything."
Monday, April 18, 2011
Uncontrollable Love
Unconditional love is uncontrollable love.
You cannot control your heart beat. It is the only involuntary muscle in your body. It began to beat when you were formed in your mother's whom. Our heart beats because it beats. It beats because God allows our hearts to beat.
I want my heartbeat to be in exact rhythm with His, so that His heart becomes the way I feel, the way I see, the way I act, the way I think, the way I respond & the way I love. When our heartbeats are in sync with Him, we come to know the effortlessness of His heartbeat - the effortlessness of His love, joy, peace, righteousness & grace.
This is how Jesus walked: in the effortlessness of Love, because His heart was involuntarily, uncontrollably beating in sync with the Father's heart. Everything Jesus did was natural to Him. While on earth He indeed spent so much time with Him have revelation of wisdom, understanding, favor, and intimacy. It's those alone times that grew Jesus' awareness of the Father's heart within His chest; it's that intimate, secret place time where the Father revealed to Jesus (and reveals to us) exactly what we have access to, exactly what we are capable of doing through Him, and what He is capable of doing through us! It's like, in order to be familiar with someone, you got to become familiar with them! In order to know the nooks and cranny's of your house, you got to spend time in your house!
Anyways, He is capable of doing so much through us. And in that, everything Him & you and I do together, it all comes back down to His love. The thing about Father's love is that it's powerful. I know its God's love when I feel it because His love carries a power that no human can conjure up. I have known God is love, and I have known God is power, but once I knew the power of His love, it was an entirely different story. My life changed forever.
May my heart cry be one with His. I'm alive to see His love captivate the hearts of His children - children who are lost, hurt, broken, angry at Him, confused, hopeless. I am alive to overflow the love that is TRUE & full of power - the love that breaks down every wall, the love that satisfies the most empty & dry spirit, the love that cannot be slain, the love that will remain through all eternity.
God is unconditional love.
This is my declaration, this is my prayer:
You cannot control your heart beat. It is the only involuntary muscle in your body. It began to beat when you were formed in your mother's whom. Our heart beats because it beats. It beats because God allows our hearts to beat.
I want my heartbeat to be in exact rhythm with His, so that His heart becomes the way I feel, the way I see, the way I act, the way I think, the way I respond & the way I love. When our heartbeats are in sync with Him, we come to know the effortlessness of His heartbeat - the effortlessness of His love, joy, peace, righteousness & grace.This is how Jesus walked: in the effortlessness of Love, because His heart was involuntarily, uncontrollably beating in sync with the Father's heart. Everything Jesus did was natural to Him. While on earth He indeed spent so much time with Him have revelation of wisdom, understanding, favor, and intimacy. It's those alone times that grew Jesus' awareness of the Father's heart within His chest; it's that intimate, secret place time where the Father revealed to Jesus (and reveals to us) exactly what we have access to, exactly what we are capable of doing through Him, and what He is capable of doing through us! It's like, in order to be familiar with someone, you got to become familiar with them! In order to know the nooks and cranny's of your house, you got to spend time in your house!
Anyways, He is capable of doing so much through us. And in that, everything Him & you and I do together, it all comes back down to His love. The thing about Father's love is that it's powerful. I know its God's love when I feel it because His love carries a power that no human can conjure up. I have known God is love, and I have known God is power, but once I knew the power of His love, it was an entirely different story. My life changed forever.
May my heart cry be one with His. I'm alive to see His love captivate the hearts of His children - children who are lost, hurt, broken, angry at Him, confused, hopeless. I am alive to overflow the love that is TRUE & full of power - the love that breaks down every wall, the love that satisfies the most empty & dry spirit, the love that cannot be slain, the love that will remain through all eternity.
God is unconditional love.
This is my declaration, this is my prayer:
"There's a fire (of love) down in my soul that I can't contain, that I can't control,
(Still) I want more of You, my God, I just want more of You."
-Set A Fire by United Pursuit Band
(Still) I want more of You, my God, I just want more of You."
-Set A Fire by United Pursuit Band
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
God Loves to Hang Out With Us
If we go before Him every moment of every day with the awareness of His immense and unfathomable love for us, it won't be hard to get into worship. It won't take two fast songs and a moderately slow one to get into an attitude of worship and receiving. Striving, trying to work our way in is not how God designed it. He made love better than that.
He is with you, He lives inside of you, He is literally, literally closer than a heart beat. The reason why He lives inside of us is because He desires communion, fellowship, friendship, intimacy with us. What a Daddy! What an amazing Friend! He has easy access to us, and so we have easy access to Him.
Coming into the knowledge of that - the awareness, the acknowledgement, the freedom, the rest of that - changes everything.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Job Testimony
For the past three and a half months, since getting accepted to Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry, I have applied to over 30 places, followed up on about 15, been interviewed at 5, and received 0 job offers.
But through every application and no call-backs, I truly felt like God had something better for me and that it was going to drop in my lap really easily. I didn't believe this because I didn't want to try to get a job or because I was just making it up - I was willing to take anything to get to school next year, whether that was painting houses or whatever minimum wage would have me at -- anything to get to Bethel --any job was a good job. But I believed that God had something special for me that was worth waiting for. And obviously no one was hiring me, which was just confirming these feelings. So I really felt supernatural peace during these three months, even during the days when I would feel more of the job-need and bring it up with Him, He'd always say, "Wait... it's coming. Just trust in me...I got this."
"Getting peace that passes your understanding means giving up your understanding. Then your supernatural peace will come." (Bill Johnson).
Last week my Grandpa dropped by my home and vaguely told me, "My friend Rita has some scanning that needs to get done in her office. She might need you a couple afternoons and would pay you by the hour." It sounded kind of strange that someone just needed scanning done, but I thought, "Okay, well even a little money earned for a couple days would help." I called Rita, and she said, "Oh wonderful! Why don't you come in at 4:00 on Monday."
I got to the office thinking I was going to do my first few hours of scanning, earn a bit of money. I came in thinking I was the one doing a favor for someone else...haha.
I sat down in her office, and Rita asked me what I was interested in doing for a job, what kind of skills I have, and what my schedule looks like. I told her that I am "interested in and would take any job, my skills are writing, art, creative design, and communication skills, and that I am free every day of the week."
Then I told her, "I thought you just wanted me in here for scanning and the like...?"
She told me she was looking for someone who could do much more than that. She wanted an organizer, a planner... almost a secretary kind of person, who could be there every day and work full time in the summer. She looked at me and said, "We would love to have you here" and offered me the job. Of course, I told her "I would love to be here!" I then asked her, "What is the name of your company?" (I really did not have any idea, as I thought I was just going to drop in and out for a scanning job every now and then.) But she giggled and told me "We are Robinson Financial Group" - they help people figure out their finances and especially health insurance.
She told me the pay which is almost twice as much I would be getting at min. wage, she gave me flexible hours so I can still go to school and call in if I need a day off, and even said that I might get to do some traveling with her over the summer to some of her accounts.
She took the rest of the afternoon to explain to me what my job entails, which are all things I love and enjoy doing. I didn't know a bit about health insurance stuff, nor did I bring in my resume. I just brought in myself and she hired me.
The office itself is beautiful, my new desk is amazing, even the artwork paintings on the wall super nice. I would be 1 of about 7 on the team. She said she would even pay me for our interview time. Crazy! I also knew before hand that she was Christian, but after meeting her, we both had such a strong connection and know we both love Jesus. I told her how much an answer to prayer she was, and she said I was an answer to her prayer as well. We couldn't stop hugging at the end of our time - I didn't want to leave the office.
When I got back in the car and turned on the engine, the first lyrics to come on were "...your great love...your great love..." from the song What Would I have Done on Be Lifted High. His love was sooo real. I was just getting overwhelmed, filled, intoxicated with His Love.
And now I know... NOW and KNOW that I know that I know! ...that when God makes a promise, I can count on it. When Daddy God says, "I love to give beyond what you can ask or imagine" I believe it. When He says "For I know the plans I have for YOU, plans for you to prosper, to give you a hope and a good future!" it's legit!
I am learning to just receive and rest in His love. To walk out that supernatural trust. To not just "say" I trust Him, but to actually trust Him with my life, with every breath, every minute, every decision, the things I can and cannot see. He will walk us through the trust thing. He will in fact give us that trust and then the peace to make trusting easy. It's all by grace - Jesus paid the price not just for our sins but for us to be fully aware of the fullness of what Daddy has given us - to live in the abundance of Heavenly salvation.
Anyways, I am so stoked to start this job. My first one - haha, soo crazy but it's SOOOO Papa and He is pretty crazy and absolutely full of love. He is love. That is the only reason why I got this job. The song when I turned on the engine says it all:
"What would I have done if it wasn't for Your love? All for Love, my Jesus gave it all for Love, and I'm standing in the wonder of Your great love, Your great love..."
But through every application and no call-backs, I truly felt like God had something better for me and that it was going to drop in my lap really easily. I didn't believe this because I didn't want to try to get a job or because I was just making it up - I was willing to take anything to get to school next year, whether that was painting houses or whatever minimum wage would have me at -- anything to get to Bethel --any job was a good job. But I believed that God had something special for me that was worth waiting for. And obviously no one was hiring me, which was just confirming these feelings. So I really felt supernatural peace during these three months, even during the days when I would feel more of the job-need and bring it up with Him, He'd always say, "Wait... it's coming. Just trust in me...I got this."
"Getting peace that passes your understanding means giving up your understanding. Then your supernatural peace will come." (Bill Johnson).
Last week my Grandpa dropped by my home and vaguely told me, "My friend Rita has some scanning that needs to get done in her office. She might need you a couple afternoons and would pay you by the hour." It sounded kind of strange that someone just needed scanning done, but I thought, "Okay, well even a little money earned for a couple days would help." I called Rita, and she said, "Oh wonderful! Why don't you come in at 4:00 on Monday."
I got to the office thinking I was going to do my first few hours of scanning, earn a bit of money. I came in thinking I was the one doing a favor for someone else...haha.
I sat down in her office, and Rita asked me what I was interested in doing for a job, what kind of skills I have, and what my schedule looks like. I told her that I am "interested in and would take any job, my skills are writing, art, creative design, and communication skills, and that I am free every day of the week."
Then I told her, "I thought you just wanted me in here for scanning and the like...?"
She told me she was looking for someone who could do much more than that. She wanted an organizer, a planner... almost a secretary kind of person, who could be there every day and work full time in the summer. She looked at me and said, "We would love to have you here" and offered me the job. Of course, I told her "I would love to be here!" I then asked her, "What is the name of your company?" (I really did not have any idea, as I thought I was just going to drop in and out for a scanning job every now and then.) But she giggled and told me "We are Robinson Financial Group" - they help people figure out their finances and especially health insurance.
She told me the pay which is almost twice as much I would be getting at min. wage, she gave me flexible hours so I can still go to school and call in if I need a day off, and even said that I might get to do some traveling with her over the summer to some of her accounts.
She took the rest of the afternoon to explain to me what my job entails, which are all things I love and enjoy doing. I didn't know a bit about health insurance stuff, nor did I bring in my resume. I just brought in myself and she hired me.
The office itself is beautiful, my new desk is amazing, even the artwork paintings on the wall super nice. I would be 1 of about 7 on the team. She said she would even pay me for our interview time. Crazy! I also knew before hand that she was Christian, but after meeting her, we both had such a strong connection and know we both love Jesus. I told her how much an answer to prayer she was, and she said I was an answer to her prayer as well. We couldn't stop hugging at the end of our time - I didn't want to leave the office.
When I got back in the car and turned on the engine, the first lyrics to come on were "...your great love...your great love..." from the song What Would I have Done on Be Lifted High. His love was sooo real. I was just getting overwhelmed, filled, intoxicated with His Love.
And now I know... NOW and KNOW that I know that I know! ...that when God makes a promise, I can count on it. When Daddy God says, "I love to give beyond what you can ask or imagine" I believe it. When He says "For I know the plans I have for YOU, plans for you to prosper, to give you a hope and a good future!" it's legit!
I am learning to just receive and rest in His love. To walk out that supernatural trust. To not just "say" I trust Him, but to actually trust Him with my life, with every breath, every minute, every decision, the things I can and cannot see. He will walk us through the trust thing. He will in fact give us that trust and then the peace to make trusting easy. It's all by grace - Jesus paid the price not just for our sins but for us to be fully aware of the fullness of what Daddy has given us - to live in the abundance of Heavenly salvation.
Anyways, I am so stoked to start this job. My first one - haha, soo crazy but it's SOOOO Papa and He is pretty crazy and absolutely full of love. He is love. That is the only reason why I got this job. The song when I turned on the engine says it all:
"What would I have done if it wasn't for Your love? All for Love, my Jesus gave it all for Love, and I'm standing in the wonder of Your great love, Your great love..."
Sunday, April 3, 2011
My Room in His Mansion
I host a small group at my house every Thursday night, and it has been an amazing, beautiful time of bonding and loving one another in the Lord.
This last week I was praying before the time my friends arrive and the Lord was really highlighting to me the huge importance of the revelation and Spirit of Sonship, that He is our Papa Daddy God, which makes us His Precious Sons and Daughters.
He gave me an example: when someone from a wealthy country adopts a child from a poorer country, the parents first do all this intense research, find out as much as they can about their child, pay a whole bunch of money, and etc. But the last step is to prepare a room in their home for their new son or daughter who is coming home!
Daddy said to me, "When I looked at you, I thought, 'I must have her as my daughter; she must be mine.' You are mine now, and you have a room here in your Heavenly Home, which is My Home. You are seated, resting, living, in Heavenly Places - as my Daughter."
Then I had a vision. I don't know how real visions can get, but I feel like I am having them more and more lately. This one was definitely more than in my mind's eye. Also just to preface: I feel like this vision is very symbolic of our treasure in Heaven but also is, in fact, reality. So maybe keep in mind as you are reading the symbolism in this as well as the tangible, reality of it. :) Daddy and I were in Heaven in the vision, and He showed me that every person who has believed in Jesus has a special room in His many mansions. Then he escorted me into my room. It was fairly big, really pink, and although I saw walls, there still seemed to be no end to it. I saw a huge bed with a canopy over it, totally princessy. And I saw all kinds of items and fancy furniture, but I couldn't actually see them in detail. I didn't know exactly what kinds of things they were, but I did know that everything He had handcrafted for me - me personally - and had been given to me.
He told me that my room is where I live, and that it is where Him and I have our intimate, precious times together. He also showed me that my room is representative of who I am, the person he made me to be, and the items all around are for me to take hold of and use on earth to demonstrate the kind of Daddy that He is. He also said, "In your room, I keep all of my most precious treasures as well."
Then I asked Him to show me something in detail, and He took me over to a paint easel and paints pastels, and an empty canvas.
I thought, "That's funny, I don't paint."
He said, "You paint. You used to find so much joy in it."
That is true, (of course! He created me to find joy in it.) But yes...I used to love to paint. I took years of art classes....I even painted a picture when I was 8 years old, and it won an honorable mention in a newspaper contest. So I do have painting/design and creativity in me. But I have not used painting or art skills in very long time. For a while I actually thought I wasn't good at painting, drawing, art and etc. Now I know... that ain't true!
So every day I have been exploring more of my room in Heaven. I don't want to hold back with Daddy, I want to explore every nook and cranny, hide under the bed, see what He has for me to wear in the closet, try on all the jewelry He made, and so on. I feel like the meaning of this vision is double fold: God has prepared rooms for us in Heaven that are for us and Him to be together, and all the precious treasures and gifts hidden inside the room are already ours.
The next step is: will we give our lives to go there with Him, to live there with Him? To ask Him about the treasures He has placed inside of us and the treasures inside of His heart? To go deeper and still deeper, and yet even deeper into all treasure-trove of what He loves and longs to show us?
He wants us to make our room in Heaven ours. We better get comfortable now, because it's where we are spending eternity. He wants us to discover what He has for us, and let Him be our Daddy, our Provider, our Lover, our Playmate, our Friend. When we explore His house and His heart, we will always find overwhelming abundance.
I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you - or - I give you the name of friends, because I have given you knowledge of all the things which my Father has said to me. - Jesus, John 15:15
This last week I was praying before the time my friends arrive and the Lord was really highlighting to me the huge importance of the revelation and Spirit of Sonship, that He is our Papa Daddy God, which makes us His Precious Sons and Daughters.
He gave me an example: when someone from a wealthy country adopts a child from a poorer country, the parents first do all this intense research, find out as much as they can about their child, pay a whole bunch of money, and etc. But the last step is to prepare a room in their home for their new son or daughter who is coming home!
Daddy said to me, "When I looked at you, I thought, 'I must have her as my daughter; she must be mine.' You are mine now, and you have a room here in your Heavenly Home, which is My Home. You are seated, resting, living, in Heavenly Places - as my Daughter."
Then I had a vision. I don't know how real visions can get, but I feel like I am having them more and more lately. This one was definitely more than in my mind's eye. Also just to preface: I feel like this vision is very symbolic of our treasure in Heaven but also is, in fact, reality. So maybe keep in mind as you are reading the symbolism in this as well as the tangible, reality of it. :) Daddy and I were in Heaven in the vision, and He showed me that every person who has believed in Jesus has a special room in His many mansions. Then he escorted me into my room. It was fairly big, really pink, and although I saw walls, there still seemed to be no end to it. I saw a huge bed with a canopy over it, totally princessy. And I saw all kinds of items and fancy furniture, but I couldn't actually see them in detail. I didn't know exactly what kinds of things they were, but I did know that everything He had handcrafted for me - me personally - and had been given to me.
He told me that my room is where I live, and that it is where Him and I have our intimate, precious times together. He also showed me that my room is representative of who I am, the person he made me to be, and the items all around are for me to take hold of and use on earth to demonstrate the kind of Daddy that He is. He also said, "In your room, I keep all of my most precious treasures as well."
Then I asked Him to show me something in detail, and He took me over to a paint easel and paints pastels, and an empty canvas.
I thought, "That's funny, I don't paint."
He said, "You paint. You used to find so much joy in it."
That is true, (of course! He created me to find joy in it.) But yes...I used to love to paint. I took years of art classes....I even painted a picture when I was 8 years old, and it won an honorable mention in a newspaper contest. So I do have painting/design and creativity in me. But I have not used painting or art skills in very long time. For a while I actually thought I wasn't good at painting, drawing, art and etc. Now I know... that ain't true!
So every day I have been exploring more of my room in Heaven. I don't want to hold back with Daddy, I want to explore every nook and cranny, hide under the bed, see what He has for me to wear in the closet, try on all the jewelry He made, and so on. I feel like the meaning of this vision is double fold: God has prepared rooms for us in Heaven that are for us and Him to be together, and all the precious treasures and gifts hidden inside the room are already ours.
The next step is: will we give our lives to go there with Him, to live there with Him? To ask Him about the treasures He has placed inside of us and the treasures inside of His heart? To go deeper and still deeper, and yet even deeper into all treasure-trove of what He loves and longs to show us?
He wants us to make our room in Heaven ours. We better get comfortable now, because it's where we are spending eternity. He wants us to discover what He has for us, and let Him be our Daddy, our Provider, our Lover, our Playmate, our Friend. When we explore His house and His heart, we will always find overwhelming abundance.
I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you - or - I give you the name of friends, because I have given you knowledge of all the things which my Father has said to me. - Jesus, John 15:15
Monday, March 28, 2011
The Power of Words
Death and Life are in the power of the tongue. Proverbs 18:21
One of my favorite words is "beautiful." Telling peeople they are beautiful is a great thing to do, because it is the truth. And truth is full of life. When people believe they are not beautiful, they are believing a lie, and lies are full of death.
Living words eliminate the dead ones. The dead ones are lies; the living ones are Truth.
I know in our generation it is almost expected or natural to not believe you are beautiful - girls and guys alike. I enjoy countering those lies with truth, which ushers forth freedom, love, hope, joy, faith, healing, justice, and God's presence.
I beleive God's presence is what every human being has at some point deeply longed for Jesus. He says His Spirit is every where and I also know that the Lord calls Himself the Lover of mankind, and someone who is in pursuit of man.
When someone agrees with our deepest longings, for beauty, for justice, for light, for love, by speaking it out, like "you are beautiful," something happens, something shifts, way deep on the inside. Sometimes it's almost too deep to comprehend. But it's a shift inside the structure of the mind and of the heart. Thinking begins to change, feelings begin to change, hope arises, and people begin to believe again that they are beautiful. They begin to feel more alive. Words are like seeds planted in the ground, and they will grow as the Gardener cares from them. I have also been majorly learning how much this whole life, living it for Him, is about Him -- Jesus. That makes walking in the power of intimacy and love with God super easy, more easy than we think. I am learning how to not take myself too seriously anymore, and how to just let Jesus do what He does best, and do it with joy and love and adoration for everything He is -- living by 100% grace, that I can do nothing without Him. Jesus Himself said that in John 5:19, "Jesus gave them this answer: "I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does."
To walk in the fullness of the Spirit and of grace; this is how more of the God's Children will actually come to know - I mean, really know - their Daddy. People will recognize the ones who bear His Name not because they shout His Name on street corners, but because they have let Him mark their hearts with His Name -- something greater than themselves and greater than the world, yet the very thing the world has always longed for.
<3 Lauren
One of my favorite words is "beautiful." Telling peeople they are beautiful is a great thing to do, because it is the truth. And truth is full of life. When people believe they are not beautiful, they are believing a lie, and lies are full of death.
Living words eliminate the dead ones. The dead ones are lies; the living ones are Truth.
I know in our generation it is almost expected or natural to not believe you are beautiful - girls and guys alike. I enjoy countering those lies with truth, which ushers forth freedom, love, hope, joy, faith, healing, justice, and God's presence.
I beleive God's presence is what every human being has at some point deeply longed for Jesus. He says His Spirit is every where and I also know that the Lord calls Himself the Lover of mankind, and someone who is in pursuit of man.
When someone agrees with our deepest longings, for beauty, for justice, for light, for love, by speaking it out, like "you are beautiful," something happens, something shifts, way deep on the inside. Sometimes it's almost too deep to comprehend. But it's a shift inside the structure of the mind and of the heart. Thinking begins to change, feelings begin to change, hope arises, and people begin to believe again that they are beautiful. They begin to feel more alive. Words are like seeds planted in the ground, and they will grow as the Gardener cares from them. I have also been majorly learning how much this whole life, living it for Him, is about Him -- Jesus. That makes walking in the power of intimacy and love with God super easy, more easy than we think. I am learning how to not take myself too seriously anymore, and how to just let Jesus do what He does best, and do it with joy and love and adoration for everything He is -- living by 100% grace, that I can do nothing without Him. Jesus Himself said that in John 5:19, "Jesus gave them this answer: "I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does."
To walk in the fullness of the Spirit and of grace; this is how more of the God's Children will actually come to know - I mean, really know - their Daddy. People will recognize the ones who bear His Name not because they shout His Name on street corners, but because they have let Him mark their hearts with His Name -- something greater than themselves and greater than the world, yet the very thing the world has always longed for.
<3 Lauren
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Love Makes You, You
Sometimes when I got on this blog I feel the need to write this gigantic post of all these crazy things that are happening in my life, all these new fresh thoughts and experiences and etc.
However, there are seasons when things are really restful on the ouside...while a lot of things are just being shifted, changed, planted, and rearranged under the surface. And those things are great to write about too.
The purpose of this blog is really just to encourage the church body. I find it super important to know about what other people think and feel and go through in their walks - we need each other, be in tune with the body, be vulnerable with each other. I hope you find that here in my blog.
Lately, God has really just been reiterating a few things in my spirit. Those things have to do with my identity in Him.
The number one thing is this: I am His daughter.
I read the book "Supernatural Ways of Royalty" by Kris Vallotton starting at about a year ago (March 2010), and finished it around August 2010 (yes, it took me a whole five months to read that book. It's so filled and jam packed with life-changing stuff. When I was half way through, I even turned around and read the entire beginning just to let it sink in again!) I highly recommend this book to everyone - no matter where you are at on your spiritual journey. This book is really fantastic about instilling in each one of us what it means to be a son or daughter of God. He explains that royal sons/daughters have access to what the king has, who is their father. In the same way, we who are actually true Sons and Daughters of God (it's not just metaphorical - it's reality) are desired by the King to come before Him and receive all that He has for us.
But, this all happens through loving relationship with Him. Truly knowing in one's entire being what it means to be a daughter of the Father requires knowing the Father first.
A perfect example of this came up in my AP Literature and Composition class today, a group of students were giving their presentation on Biographical Literary Criticism, which basically is: "You got to find out the history and life of the author before you plunge into reading one of their literary works. Otherwise, it is impossible to fully understand their work."
A line in their notes struck me. It was simply: "Know the Creator." (I capitalized "Creator" for my effect).
It is true: Identity can't come unless there is intimacy, and we can't who we are as His magnificent creation unless we know our Magnificent Creator. Knowing God Himself, and Him knowing us, is the journey, the reason, the whole point of life. The more I understand who God is as my Father, the more I step into my royal identity as a daughter.
Each and every one of us was created for our Creator - who is our loving Father, Friend, the Lover of our souls, and so much more. But in everything that He is, He is Love. So the way I know I am a daughter is if I love like my Father has loved me. I become who God made me to be when I live (think, eat, sleep, walk, talk, and breathe) inside the context of a loving relationship with God: which is me receiving love - constantly - and me pouring out my heart to Him constantly. It's not work, not religion, it's just hanging out with Him.
He can't tell me He loves me enough because His words are living words. I can't hear that He loves me enough because they are like daily bread. I find that it is okay that God tells me the same things over again. I need to always hear that He loves me. There is something about hearing it from the Father Himself - not from a pastor, not from a friend, not from having in instinctively memorized because the Bible says so. There is something about hearing it straight from the mouth of our Daddy Himself. When He says, "You are my son, you are my daughter, and I love you. You are mine and I am yours; let me be with you, let me live life with you, child," you're eternally wrecked.
Because everyone on the planet was made for supernatural love, when we love people with God's love - they begin to be the person that they were actually made to be. We are for love and love is for us. In my life I am just seeing the fun of going out and loving people. Everyone... EVERYONE responds to love. It's what we all need, every moment of every day - the love of Daddy God, who IS LOVE.
However, there are seasons when things are really restful on the ouside...while a lot of things are just being shifted, changed, planted, and rearranged under the surface. And those things are great to write about too.
The purpose of this blog is really just to encourage the church body. I find it super important to know about what other people think and feel and go through in their walks - we need each other, be in tune with the body, be vulnerable with each other. I hope you find that here in my blog.
Lately, God has really just been reiterating a few things in my spirit. Those things have to do with my identity in Him.
The number one thing is this: I am His daughter.
I read the book "Supernatural Ways of Royalty" by Kris Vallotton starting at about a year ago (March 2010), and finished it around August 2010 (yes, it took me a whole five months to read that book. It's so filled and jam packed with life-changing stuff. When I was half way through, I even turned around and read the entire beginning just to let it sink in again!) I highly recommend this book to everyone - no matter where you are at on your spiritual journey. This book is really fantastic about instilling in each one of us what it means to be a son or daughter of God. He explains that royal sons/daughters have access to what the king has, who is their father. In the same way, we who are actually true Sons and Daughters of God (it's not just metaphorical - it's reality) are desired by the King to come before Him and receive all that He has for us.
But, this all happens through loving relationship with Him. Truly knowing in one's entire being what it means to be a daughter of the Father requires knowing the Father first.
A perfect example of this came up in my AP Literature and Composition class today, a group of students were giving their presentation on Biographical Literary Criticism, which basically is: "You got to find out the history and life of the author before you plunge into reading one of their literary works. Otherwise, it is impossible to fully understand their work."
A line in their notes struck me. It was simply: "Know the Creator." (I capitalized "Creator" for my effect).
It is true: Identity can't come unless there is intimacy, and we can't who we are as His magnificent creation unless we know our Magnificent Creator. Knowing God Himself, and Him knowing us, is the journey, the reason, the whole point of life. The more I understand who God is as my Father, the more I step into my royal identity as a daughter.
Each and every one of us was created for our Creator - who is our loving Father, Friend, the Lover of our souls, and so much more. But in everything that He is, He is Love. So the way I know I am a daughter is if I love like my Father has loved me. I become who God made me to be when I live (think, eat, sleep, walk, talk, and breathe) inside the context of a loving relationship with God: which is me receiving love - constantly - and me pouring out my heart to Him constantly. It's not work, not religion, it's just hanging out with Him.
He can't tell me He loves me enough because His words are living words. I can't hear that He loves me enough because they are like daily bread. I find that it is okay that God tells me the same things over again. I need to always hear that He loves me. There is something about hearing it from the Father Himself - not from a pastor, not from a friend, not from having in instinctively memorized because the Bible says so. There is something about hearing it straight from the mouth of our Daddy Himself. When He says, "You are my son, you are my daughter, and I love you. You are mine and I am yours; let me be with you, let me live life with you, child," you're eternally wrecked.
Because everyone on the planet was made for supernatural love, when we love people with God's love - they begin to be the person that they were actually made to be. We are for love and love is for us. In my life I am just seeing the fun of going out and loving people. Everyone... EVERYONE responds to love. It's what we all need, every moment of every day - the love of Daddy God, who IS LOVE.
"When it's all been said, when it's all been done
When the race is done, it all comes down to Love." - Misty Edwards
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Greatly Loved
I woke up to the sight of bright white powdery snow fallen on top of everything, and some still gently falling onto the ground. But it wasn't super thick....the "snow storm" cancelled all the events and classes in my district. My sister and mom and I all walked to Starbucks down the road, had some yummy Carmel Machiatto's (mine was as much as possible sugar free), then walked back. So here we are at home again, chilling out and enjoying the "snow day" that is melting away the snow...
I have had the day to just process a lot of sudden things that have been happening in my life as of late, and process what the Lord has been teaching me through them. I have been realizing and continue to realize that God is always, always speaking to me, and it just depends on if I receive His grace to open my ears and eyes to what He is saying and doing.
I am teachable when I want to keep learning, when I don't stop the search, and don't stop hungering after Him and hearing His voice. And it's so cool because His voice isn't just this corporate, radio announcer voice. God's voice speaks to each one of us in special and specific ways. We were created to have real conversations with Him, to live face to face with Him.
I experience this more and more as I simply start talking to Him, and pouring out my heart to Him. By simply saying, "I am open to you right now, what are you saying, what are you doing, what's on your heart God?" the situation changes and/or my perspective on the situation changes as God downloads His perspective into me and I experience something greater and more powerful than where I was at before.
I am also feeling so impressed in me that because He loved me first, I am now able to love Him. But I can only love Him as much as I have received His love. In order to be a great lover of God, one has to be greatly loved by God. One has to experience Him and actually be loved. There is no greater comfort than knowing the Comforter. There is no greater love than Love Himself. I am just really feeling this hitting me: God Is Everything I Need, Want and Truly Desire.
I had this vision of all of these walls just breaking down around me, and everything I had built up around me, or things that I had allowed to be built up around me, were just shattering. God's wind was blowing in clearing the ground for a new work to be done, a new foundation to be laid. "Foundation" - that's another word God's been giving to me. He's been telling me how He is going to completely restructure my foundation so He can build up new things in me. A word that one girl got and posted on the BSSM page on Facebook was “undivided heart.” I feel like this is totally for me. An undivided heart doesn’t look for anything except what the Father is doing. An undivided heart is completely taken over (I have this image in my head of a big piece of land) by God. But everything has been submitted to Him - everything. I feel like there are parts of me – this land – that are in ruins, so to speak, and desperately need the Lord’s healing. Those parts of me that I have grappled to keep heavily guarded are so ready to be handed over to the Lord. Those guards that keep me in and keep God out are falling down as I receive His perfect love.
Every day, He just says to me, "I am rejoicing over you, smiling over you, I am joyous over you. I LOVE YOU!" Haha, it's sooo easy to say "yes" to True Love. And that is what this life is really about: love. Just loving to no end. Having no boundaries and limits, total freedom to explore what love really means.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Small Begninngs
I took this picture today as I was going on a walk with the King of kings in the magnificent garden of my neighborhood. He spoke to me, "Don't despise small beginnings. I make all things grow." This flower reminds me of small beginnings. But it is going to grow. It is a sign that springtime is here, and that after the coldest winter (literally... it JUST snowed two days ago), there is always a promise of new things, growth, and hope :)
Today Is The Day
We are relational beings. When our relationship with Jesus is the strongest thing in our lives, the strongest bond, then that is what affects other relationships the most.
I realize in my life that my mood and thoughts can often be affected by the other people around me. That is normal I suppose, but it's not good if it is dominating over my relationship with Jesus first.
I think I am just really realizing what it means and how important it is that Jesus Himself, not His principles but His presence, is what I live for. When Jesus is the strongest relationship in my life, I am obviously spending the most time with Him and am more aware of His presence than anything else.
I am thinking of it like the "third" in a chord. The third determines whether the chord is a major or minor. So if the third is either sharp or flat, the whole entire chord changes and the sound and mood of everything shifts. Literally every other note can stay the same, but if the third changes, so does the entire mood and atmosphere. I really feel like this is how our relationship with Jesus is. Our relationship with Jesus is like the third in a chord. If it is sharped or flatted from its Major position, it becomes a minor, dark sounding key. Everything sounds sad, gloomy, depressing, and dark. But if it is in it’s right Major position, it makes everything sound very happy! If you are a musician, you know exactly what I am talking about. If you are not, research thirds and you’ll see what I mean!
As I write about this, another thought is intertwined. Every day that I live is such a precious gift from Papa. I am not here long, and I want to make every moment of every day count for Him. How am I using my days, and how am I spending my time? Do I waste time on just me or am I actually doing something to usher in His Kingdom? I want to make an impact, I want to stop for the one. I just don't want to slip into the "waiting" mindset of "Hmmm...tomorrow, maybe that is a better time to have God encounters." No! Today is the day!
Today is the day to move on and walk in the love and power of God. Today is the day to TASTE AND SEE that the Lord is good! Today is the day to live in the fullness of God. The less I look at myself and the more I look at Jesus, the more I become like Him. What a perfect, beauatiful, amazing plan. He is soo good and so gracious! We become what we behold, and He is so beautiful that how can anyone once tasting and seeing that He is good go back to what they had before? Doesn’t even compare!
We are a world craving for love, attention, and beauty. Just look at a magazine cover! We’re so desperate for Jesus! Let Him come and totally invade our hearts, minds, bodies, everything in us with His beauty so that we can overflow His beautiful presence onto the world. Let our intimate relationship w/ Him become the music that changes the atmosphere everywhere we go. Make us carriers of your weighty presence Father, unafraid, unashamed, untouched, undignified, fully satisfied yet ravenously hungry for more of your Kingdom, totally convinced of “Christ in me, the Hope of Glory,” and completely in abandoned love with You!
I realize in my life that my mood and thoughts can often be affected by the other people around me. That is normal I suppose, but it's not good if it is dominating over my relationship with Jesus first.
I think I am just really realizing what it means and how important it is that Jesus Himself, not His principles but His presence, is what I live for. When Jesus is the strongest relationship in my life, I am obviously spending the most time with Him and am more aware of His presence than anything else.
I am thinking of it like the "third" in a chord. The third determines whether the chord is a major or minor. So if the third is either sharp or flat, the whole entire chord changes and the sound and mood of everything shifts. Literally every other note can stay the same, but if the third changes, so does the entire mood and atmosphere. I really feel like this is how our relationship with Jesus is. Our relationship with Jesus is like the third in a chord. If it is sharped or flatted from its Major position, it becomes a minor, dark sounding key. Everything sounds sad, gloomy, depressing, and dark. But if it is in it’s right Major position, it makes everything sound very happy! If you are a musician, you know exactly what I am talking about. If you are not, research thirds and you’ll see what I mean!
As I write about this, another thought is intertwined. Every day that I live is such a precious gift from Papa. I am not here long, and I want to make every moment of every day count for Him. How am I using my days, and how am I spending my time? Do I waste time on just me or am I actually doing something to usher in His Kingdom? I want to make an impact, I want to stop for the one. I just don't want to slip into the "waiting" mindset of "Hmmm...tomorrow, maybe that is a better time to have God encounters." No! Today is the day!
Today is the day to move on and walk in the love and power of God. Today is the day to TASTE AND SEE that the Lord is good! Today is the day to live in the fullness of God. The less I look at myself and the more I look at Jesus, the more I become like Him. What a perfect, beauatiful, amazing plan. He is soo good and so gracious! We become what we behold, and He is so beautiful that how can anyone once tasting and seeing that He is good go back to what they had before? Doesn’t even compare!
We are a world craving for love, attention, and beauty. Just look at a magazine cover! We’re so desperate for Jesus! Let Him come and totally invade our hearts, minds, bodies, everything in us with His beauty so that we can overflow His beautiful presence onto the world. Let our intimate relationship w/ Him become the music that changes the atmosphere everywhere we go. Make us carriers of your weighty presence Father, unafraid, unashamed, untouched, undignified, fully satisfied yet ravenously hungry for more of your Kingdom, totally convinced of “Christ in me, the Hope of Glory,” and completely in abandoned love with You!
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Finding Rest
Hello, friends!
The word "abide" means: to remain; continue; stay, dwell; reside, to continue in a particular condition, attitude, relationship; to wait, to remain steadfast and faithful
Selah (could mediate on those words for a good while...)
The word "strive" means: To exert much effort or energy; endeavor; to struggle or fight forcefully; contend with, to exert oneself vigorously; try hard
(yuck)
Abiding in Jesus is the only way to have what He has, which is all the fullness of God. Good news! He says this in John 15:
So basically, I need to abide in Jesus in order to do anything. He's lives in me, I live in Him, and He lives in God! What a supernatural relationship! But... what about when I get that feeling that I need to "work" for something in my life or relationship with God (not talking about perseverance, I'm mean like working "for" God instead of with Him). This is really what God's been showing me and it's really changing the way I think.
We work when we do not know...
God is for us and on our side, (the opposite is we approach Him with doubt He wants to help us)
We are royalty, (the opposite iswe act like beggars)
He enjoys our presence, (the opposite is we make our conversations with Him short, to the point, uncertain)
God LOVES US, (the opposite is work to gain love... the love He has already lavished on us! 1 John 3:1)
In essence, we work and we strive for things in life when we don't know God loves us and has made us, from the beginning of creation, His Son's and Daughters who don't have to beg and borrow from their Daddy, but have totally full access to everything He has through Jesus. It makes Him really happy when we let him get this into our hearts and heads!
We also end up in "striving mode" when we don't full realize that when we receive Jesus, believe in what He accomplished through his death and resurrection, we are righteousness (in a perfectly right relationship with God) through grace and not by a checklist. That is such good news! God is soooooo goooood! It's all by grace! That should put us at total rest, that God has already done everything we need to live a life in the fullness of Him. (Check out Col. 2:9 NLT, Eph. 3:14-21; Ephesians 2:9) :)
These thoughts may sound a little scrambled -- they went a different direction than I thought. I hope this was encouraging to all who read it! :)
Love, Lauren
These past few weeks have been full a ton of changes in my life, and God is always so loving and faithful, and through it all I have grown and learned so much, just continuing to fully tune into God's heart and learn to rest and abide in Him. :)
Well, the big news is that I found out almost three weeks ago I was accepted to Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry! I can't even fully explain how excited I am as I have felt this in my heart for about a year to go there.
Basically for the past few weeks, I have been searching for a job, figuring out housing stuff in Redding next year, and thus, really realizing how much I need God to be my Provider and not just other people's Provider. It is great to hear the testimonies of other people, but I want to know, can I be a testimony of God's provision? The answer is of course: YES!
But I'm getting a head of myself....:)
God's been speaking these words over me like crazy these past few weeks: "Rest, peace, abide, Shalom." It's really wonderful God speaks exactly what we need to hear. But He is also teaching me how to partner with His voice, to speak those words to my situations in life, like how Jesus spoke "peace" and literally calmed the storm.
When Jesus calmed the storm, He wasn't laboring to do it. He was abiding in His Father's heart and in a heavenly atmosphere. Abiding is the opposite of striving. Jesus said, "Abide in me, and I in you."
Not to use the cheesy dictionary tactic, but you got to admit it's helpful!
Not to use the cheesy dictionary tactic, but you got to admit it's helpful!
The word "abide" means: to remain; continue; stay, dwell; reside, to continue in a particular condition, attitude, relationship; to wait, to remain steadfast and faithful
Selah (could mediate on those words for a good while...)
The word "strive" means: To exert much effort or energy; endeavor; to struggle or fight forcefully; contend with, to exert oneself vigorously; try hard
(yuck)
Abiding in Jesus is the only way to have what He has, which is all the fullness of God. Good news! He says this in John 15:
Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me.
5"I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he (E)bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.
We work when we do not know...
God is for us and on our side, (the opposite is we approach Him with doubt He wants to help us)
We are royalty, (the opposite iswe act like beggars)
He enjoys our presence, (the opposite is we make our conversations with Him short, to the point, uncertain)
God LOVES US, (the opposite is work to gain love... the love He has already lavished on us! 1 John 3:1)
In essence, we work and we strive for things in life when we don't know God loves us and has made us, from the beginning of creation, His Son's and Daughters who don't have to beg and borrow from their Daddy, but have totally full access to everything He has through Jesus. It makes Him really happy when we let him get this into our hearts and heads!
We also end up in "striving mode" when we don't full realize that when we receive Jesus, believe in what He accomplished through his death and resurrection, we are righteousness (in a perfectly right relationship with God) through grace and not by a checklist. That is such good news! God is soooooo goooood! It's all by grace! That should put us at total rest, that God has already done everything we need to live a life in the fullness of Him. (Check out Col. 2:9 NLT, Eph. 3:14-21; Ephesians 2:9) :)
These thoughts may sound a little scrambled -- they went a different direction than I thought. I hope this was encouraging to all who read it! :)
Love, Lauren
Friday, January 21, 2011
Being Me
Hey there! This is blog #3!
Once again I begin with the phrase "I have been thinking a lot lately..." And the cool thing about thinking is that it works (most of the time). But it sure doesn't NEARLY suffice for talking with my Daddy. So God's been talking to me ...about me, what it means to be who I am, and to find myself in Him.
I just realized something: open the Bible and almost anywhere someone is talking about their identity in God. It's just a hunch but I think God's trying to tell us all something... we are special to Him. And not just "we" as a cooperate thing. But we as a individuals. He delights in the little things. He delights in who we are, who he made us. He sees what we don't see at first. Cool thing we can get His eyes to see.
He's been telling me every day, "Lauren... BE YOU! I don't want anyone else. I just want you." I think of the Billy Joel song, "Don't go changing to try and please me... you never let me down before... ooooooo..." haha :) But really... God told me this,
"Open wide
I'm on your side
Drink in all I have for you today
Why have you been
Trying so hard
To make me love you
When I already do?
Just open wide
I'm on your side
Drink in all I have for you today..."
The biggest part of learning how to be me - the person I am and the personality I have - is looking straight into Jesus' liquid love eyes and seeing myself. Using Jake Hamilton lyrics..."I wanna see what you can see in the mirror of your eyes."
Jealousy can't stick around when we know God's love for us. We can't get jealous when we know who we are. Jealousy is a form of poverty. It's that "pauper mindset" that my Daddy gave the best to the other one, or there won't be enough for me. Those are lies; there is always enough. It's just a matter, now, of choosing to live like that. It's not a mind over matter thing. It's about fallin' so deeply in love with Jesus. When we know who Jesus is, He'll tell us and empower us to be who we are. Only He knows who we really are. We get to discover ourselves inside His heart.
Hope this was encouraging! Love, Lauren
Once again I begin with the phrase "I have been thinking a lot lately..." And the cool thing about thinking is that it works (most of the time). But it sure doesn't NEARLY suffice for talking with my Daddy. So God's been talking to me ...about me, what it means to be who I am, and to find myself in Him.
I just realized something: open the Bible and almost anywhere someone is talking about their identity in God. It's just a hunch but I think God's trying to tell us all something... we are special to Him. And not just "we" as a cooperate thing. But we as a individuals. He delights in the little things. He delights in who we are, who he made us. He sees what we don't see at first. Cool thing we can get His eyes to see.
He's been telling me every day, "Lauren... BE YOU! I don't want anyone else. I just want you." I think of the Billy Joel song, "Don't go changing to try and please me... you never let me down before... ooooooo..." haha :) But really... God told me this,
"Open wide
I'm on your side
Drink in all I have for you today
Why have you been
Trying so hard
To make me love you
When I already do?
Just open wide
I'm on your side
Drink in all I have for you today..."
The biggest part of learning how to be me - the person I am and the personality I have - is looking straight into Jesus' liquid love eyes and seeing myself. Using Jake Hamilton lyrics..."I wanna see what you can see in the mirror of your eyes."
Jealousy can't stick around when we know God's love for us. We can't get jealous when we know who we are. Jealousy is a form of poverty. It's that "pauper mindset" that my Daddy gave the best to the other one, or there won't be enough for me. Those are lies; there is always enough. It's just a matter, now, of choosing to live like that. It's not a mind over matter thing. It's about fallin' so deeply in love with Jesus. When we know who Jesus is, He'll tell us and empower us to be who we are. Only He knows who we really are. We get to discover ourselves inside His heart.
Hope this was encouraging! Love, Lauren
Thursday, January 13, 2011
What Does Love Look Like
I am learning more and more how life is all about love. There are days when I am so tired and I feel like I have to "think about it" to be loving and patient and joyful. But I don't want it to live that way because it wasn't meant to be. Jesus made me to be overflowing all the time with his love. Just knowing Jesus, love just flows from Him. He IS love. He can't help but love. So, the more I hang around Jesus, catch His fragrance, just experience how amazing He is, the more I naturally, quickly, easily love people because I want to be like the one I love. I want those days when I have to "think" about being loving become so few and then completely disappear in my life. Every day, living a life of passionate love Jesus.
What does it look like to give everything to Jesus? What does fully surrendered look like? What do laid down lovers look like? Jesus is the only one who truly satisfies. The more of Him I get, the less I want of anything else.
I have also been thinking about how when we call out the gold in people and treat them like royalty, it raises the standard of how they should treat themselves, and how others treat them. If someone has been treated poorly their whole life, so THEY treat them self poorly, so OTHERS have sympathy and apathy towards them and treat them poorly, it totally messes everyone up when someone says, "Hey beautiful, how are you? I care about you. Come, be my friend. I like you. I want you. I think you're amazing. No, I'm not just saying that. Here, let's hang out sometime. I just want to love you. I just want to show you that you are important and you matter, that you have a special purpose and Jesus loves you." I'm telling you, THAT is how to rock someone's world. That is how to make a difference, to tell someone who they really are: loved, adored, beautiful, special, wanted, longed for, a princess, a prince, a son, a daughter, someone just loved by their Daddy in Heaven.
It's about letting Jesus be love through me. But even better, in the context of his and my relationship. It's like, the key to His heart is mine, and visa versa. That exchange is what releases love onto people in a powerful way. And it's all intentional. It's a mission, it's a purpose, it's what I have died to live for.
Thoughts for now....
What does it look like to give everything to Jesus? What does fully surrendered look like? What do laid down lovers look like? Jesus is the only one who truly satisfies. The more of Him I get, the less I want of anything else.
I have also been thinking about how when we call out the gold in people and treat them like royalty, it raises the standard of how they should treat themselves, and how others treat them. If someone has been treated poorly their whole life, so THEY treat them self poorly, so OTHERS have sympathy and apathy towards them and treat them poorly, it totally messes everyone up when someone says, "Hey beautiful, how are you? I care about you. Come, be my friend. I like you. I want you. I think you're amazing. No, I'm not just saying that. Here, let's hang out sometime. I just want to love you. I just want to show you that you are important and you matter, that you have a special purpose and Jesus loves you." I'm telling you, THAT is how to rock someone's world. That is how to make a difference, to tell someone who they really are: loved, adored, beautiful, special, wanted, longed for, a princess, a prince, a son, a daughter, someone just loved by their Daddy in Heaven.
It's about letting Jesus be love through me. But even better, in the context of his and my relationship. It's like, the key to His heart is mine, and visa versa. That exchange is what releases love onto people in a powerful way. And it's all intentional. It's a mission, it's a purpose, it's what I have died to live for.
Thoughts for now....
Thursday, January 6, 2011
God's Heart
First post! Hey guys!!
Tomorrow I leave for Jesus Culture in Redding, CA. I AM SO EXCITED!!!! Yet.. this year it's a different kind of excitement than last year. It's this awesome anticipation that I am feeling for Jesus to do something really big in me, and my family, and the 7 friends who are coming with me. So much has happened since last February, when Jesus took my world and turned it upside down, and captured my heart with His love and beauty, that it's almost like this conference is a marker in my journey... just like how people remember things according to years, dates, ages, etc. ... this is one of those things.
It's also funny because I just so happened to have some thoughts tonight and I thought, "I should blog this!" I haven't used this blog yet, so I guess I better just get it a going!
I was taking a walk tonight... around 5:00ish and as I walk down my road, a hill, I come into the view of the sunset. Now this sunset was AMAZING. If you know me at all, you know that I love sunsets. (I don't see who couldn't love sunsets!) I just love them.
Well this sunset was like a rainbow without the green. It had every color.. all wrapped up in this one little spot in the huge sky. I started running down the hill and then down the other street towards the elementary school so I could get a better view of it. By the time i got there, it wasn't as vibrant as before, so I was a little bummed. Still, I pulled out my phone and tried to take a picture, but it blinked "low battery" so I couldn't. Oh well, I thought. So i picked a tree to sit under, straight infront of the sunset, and just sat... ready to soak in God's presence.
I thought I had missed the best part of the sunset. But it kept turning.. and turning... till the whole thing was this glorious bright fiery orange color. It was beautiful. It looked like the sun had just spit out some of it's beams and laid them across the sky. Orange is my favorite color, too. It was even more beautiful for me.
So I sat there.. enjoying this beautiful sunset. I started talking to God about all these things that "need" to happen in my life. I was kind of giving myself and Him a big "to-do" list. (I don't know if anyone has done the same thing.. but I realize now this is what Jesus says not to do when "dude, don't worry about tomorrow.")... So I was asking God all of these "WHAT'S and HOW and WHY" questions, and that's when he began to speak to me...
God started to showing me that it's not about what to do, it's WHO He is. I know I have known this before, but He put it in 72pt font and then highlighted it, haha. He only does what he does because of Who He IS. I can go the rest of my life having God do nothing for me and still be amazing by and thankful for who He is. Also, often times when I am tired or when I am frustrated about something, I go into His presence to merely remember who He has been in my life or who I know Him to be at that point. I only ask for Him to please maintain what I already have. But it's so much better when I go into His presence, no matter what I am feeling, and expect to actually grow and be awakened by Jesus. It's all because of Who He is, kind, loving, gentle, gracious.
If I go and spend time with Jesus and come out the same, I am not really focusing on Jesus. I am only thinking about me and what is going on in my life. . But when I focus on who Jesus is, all the He is, was, and will be, when I take time to marvel at that and let Him ravish my heart, I can't help but become a happier being. I can't help but feel more peace, feel more joy, feel more love for Jesus. When I begin to stop sipping and start drinking in His love, everything else just kind of fades away because I was actually made for His love. In His heart, I fit perfectly. When I abide inside of his heart, I am aware of his heartbeat. His heart is beating for me. Love is everything to Jesus. When I live inside of his heart, I am being exposed to the most radical love.
I wanna live my life lost inside of God's heart. Because that's what I was made for... it's where I belong!
I hope this was encouraging to all who read! Thanks guys. Now time to go pack up for Jesus Culture... so stoked!
Love, Lauren
Tomorrow I leave for Jesus Culture in Redding, CA. I AM SO EXCITED!!!! Yet.. this year it's a different kind of excitement than last year. It's this awesome anticipation that I am feeling for Jesus to do something really big in me, and my family, and the 7 friends who are coming with me. So much has happened since last February, when Jesus took my world and turned it upside down, and captured my heart with His love and beauty, that it's almost like this conference is a marker in my journey... just like how people remember things according to years, dates, ages, etc. ... this is one of those things.
It's also funny because I just so happened to have some thoughts tonight and I thought, "I should blog this!" I haven't used this blog yet, so I guess I better just get it a going!
I was taking a walk tonight... around 5:00ish and as I walk down my road, a hill, I come into the view of the sunset. Now this sunset was AMAZING. If you know me at all, you know that I love sunsets. (I don't see who couldn't love sunsets!) I just love them.
Well this sunset was like a rainbow without the green. It had every color.. all wrapped up in this one little spot in the huge sky. I started running down the hill and then down the other street towards the elementary school so I could get a better view of it. By the time i got there, it wasn't as vibrant as before, so I was a little bummed. Still, I pulled out my phone and tried to take a picture, but it blinked "low battery" so I couldn't. Oh well, I thought. So i picked a tree to sit under, straight infront of the sunset, and just sat... ready to soak in God's presence.
I thought I had missed the best part of the sunset. But it kept turning.. and turning... till the whole thing was this glorious bright fiery orange color. It was beautiful. It looked like the sun had just spit out some of it's beams and laid them across the sky. Orange is my favorite color, too. It was even more beautiful for me.
So I sat there.. enjoying this beautiful sunset. I started talking to God about all these things that "need" to happen in my life. I was kind of giving myself and Him a big "to-do" list. (I don't know if anyone has done the same thing.. but I realize now this is what Jesus says not to do when "dude, don't worry about tomorrow.")... So I was asking God all of these "WHAT'S and HOW and WHY" questions, and that's when he began to speak to me...
God started to showing me that it's not about what to do, it's WHO He is. I know I have known this before, but He put it in 72pt font and then highlighted it, haha. He only does what he does because of Who He IS. I can go the rest of my life having God do nothing for me and still be amazing by and thankful for who He is. Also, often times when I am tired or when I am frustrated about something, I go into His presence to merely remember who He has been in my life or who I know Him to be at that point. I only ask for Him to please maintain what I already have. But it's so much better when I go into His presence, no matter what I am feeling, and expect to actually grow and be awakened by Jesus. It's all because of Who He is, kind, loving, gentle, gracious.
If I go and spend time with Jesus and come out the same, I am not really focusing on Jesus. I am only thinking about me and what is going on in my life. . But when I focus on who Jesus is, all the He is, was, and will be, when I take time to marvel at that and let Him ravish my heart, I can't help but become a happier being. I can't help but feel more peace, feel more joy, feel more love for Jesus. When I begin to stop sipping and start drinking in His love, everything else just kind of fades away because I was actually made for His love. In His heart, I fit perfectly. When I abide inside of his heart, I am aware of his heartbeat. His heart is beating for me. Love is everything to Jesus. When I live inside of his heart, I am being exposed to the most radical love.
I wanna live my life lost inside of God's heart. Because that's what I was made for... it's where I belong!
I hope this was encouraging to all who read! Thanks guys. Now time to go pack up for Jesus Culture... so stoked!
Love, Lauren
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