I woke up to the sight of bright white powdery snow fallen on top of everything, and some still gently falling onto the ground. But it wasn't super thick....the "snow storm" cancelled all the events and classes in my district. My sister and mom and I all walked to Starbucks down the road, had some yummy Carmel Machiatto's (mine was as much as possible sugar free), then walked back. So here we are at home again, chilling out and enjoying the "snow day" that is melting away the snow...
I have had the day to just process a lot of sudden things that have been happening in my life as of late, and process what the Lord has been teaching me through them. I have been realizing and continue to realize that God is always, always speaking to me, and it just depends on if I receive His grace to open my ears and eyes to what He is saying and doing.
I am teachable when I want to keep learning, when I don't stop the search, and don't stop hungering after Him and hearing His voice. And it's so cool because His voice isn't just this corporate, radio announcer voice. God's voice speaks to each one of us in special and specific ways. We were created to have real conversations with Him, to live face to face with Him.
I experience this more and more as I simply start talking to Him, and pouring out my heart to Him. By simply saying, "I am open to you right now, what are you saying, what are you doing, what's on your heart God?" the situation changes and/or my perspective on the situation changes as God downloads His perspective into me and I experience something greater and more powerful than where I was at before.
I am also feeling so impressed in me that because He loved me first, I am now able to love Him. But I can only love Him as much as I have received His love. In order to be a great lover of God, one has to be greatly loved by God. One has to experience Him and actually be loved. There is no greater comfort than knowing the Comforter. There is no greater love than Love Himself. I am just really feeling this hitting me: God Is Everything I Need, Want and Truly Desire.
I had this vision of all of these walls just breaking down around me, and everything I had built up around me, or things that I had allowed to be built up around me, were just shattering. God's wind was blowing in clearing the ground for a new work to be done, a new foundation to be laid. "Foundation" - that's another word God's been giving to me. He's been telling me how He is going to completely restructure my foundation so He can build up new things in me. A word that one girl got and posted on the BSSM page on Facebook was “undivided heart.” I feel like this is totally for me. An undivided heart doesn’t look for anything except what the Father is doing. An undivided heart is completely taken over (I have this image in my head of a big piece of land) by God. But everything has been submitted to Him - everything. I feel like there are parts of me – this land – that are in ruins, so to speak, and desperately need the Lord’s healing. Those parts of me that I have grappled to keep heavily guarded are so ready to be handed over to the Lord. Those guards that keep me in and keep God out are falling down as I receive His perfect love.
Every day, He just says to me, "I am rejoicing over you, smiling over you, I am joyous over you. I LOVE YOU!" Haha, it's sooo easy to say "yes" to True Love. And that is what this life is really about: love. Just loving to no end. Having no boundaries and limits, total freedom to explore what love really means.
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