God's Heart

First post! Hey guys!!

Tomorrow I leave for Jesus Culture in Redding, CA. I AM SO EXCITED!!!! Yet.. this year it's a different kind of excitement than last year. It's this awesome anticipation that I am feeling for Jesus to do something really big in me, and my family, and the 7 friends who are coming with me. So much has happened since last February, when Jesus took my world and turned it upside down, and captured my heart with His love and beauty, that it's almost like this conference is a marker in my journey... just like how people remember things according to years, dates, ages, etc. ... this is one of those things.

It's also funny because I just so happened to have some thoughts tonight and I thought, "I should blog this!" I haven't used this blog yet, so I guess I better just get it a going!

I was taking a walk tonight... around 5:00ish and as I walk down my road, a hill, I come into the view of the sunset. Now this sunset was AMAZING. If you know me at all, you know that I love sunsets. (I don't see who couldn't love sunsets!) I just love them.

Well this sunset was like a rainbow without the green. It had every color.. all wrapped up in this one little spot in the huge sky. I started running down the hill and then down the other street towards the elementary school so I could get a better view of it. By the time i got there, it wasn't as vibrant as before, so I was a little bummed. Still, I pulled out my phone and tried to take a picture, but it blinked "low battery" so I couldn't. Oh well, I thought. So i picked a tree to sit under, straight infront of the sunset, and just sat... ready to soak in God's presence.

I thought I had missed the best part of the sunset. But it kept turning.. and turning... till the whole thing was this glorious bright fiery orange color. It was beautiful. It looked like the sun had just spit out some of it's beams and laid them across the sky. Orange is my favorite color, too. It was even more beautiful for me.
So I sat there.. enjoying this beautiful sunset. I started talking to God about all these things that "need" to happen in my life. I was kind of giving myself and Him a big "to-do" list. (I don't know if anyone has done the same thing.. but I realize now this is what Jesus says not to do when "dude, don't worry about tomorrow.")... So I was asking God all of these "WHAT'S and HOW and WHY" questions, and that's when he began to speak to me...

God started to showing me that it's not about what to do, it's WHO He is. I know I have known this before, but He put it in 72pt font and then highlighted it, haha. He only does what he does because of Who He IS. I can go the rest of my life having God do nothing for me and still be  amazing by and thankful for who He is. Also, often times when I am tired or when I am frustrated about something, I go into His presence to merely remember who He has been in my life or who I know Him to be at that point. I only ask for Him to please maintain what I already have. But it's so much better when I go into His presence, no matter what I am feeling, and expect to actually grow and be awakened by Jesus. It's all because of Who He is, kind, loving, gentle, gracious.

If I go and spend time with Jesus and come out the same, I am not really focusing on Jesus. I am only thinking about me and what is going on in my life. . But when I focus on who Jesus is, all the He is, was, and will be, when I take time to marvel at that and let Him ravish my heart, I can't help but become a happier being. I can't help but feel more peace, feel more joy, feel more love for Jesus. When I begin to stop sipping and start drinking in His love, everything else just kind of fades away because I was actually made for His love. In His heart, I fit perfectly. When I abide inside of his heart, I am aware of his heartbeat. His heart is beating for me. Love is everything to Jesus. When I live inside of his heart, I am being exposed to the most radical love.

I wanna live my life lost inside of God's heart. Because that's what I was made for... it's where I belong!
I hope this was encouraging to all who read! Thanks guys. Now time to go pack up for Jesus Culture... so stoked!
Love, Lauren